1. An Ex
When you can’t seem to find anyone, it’s natural to think back nostalgically to a time when you thought you’d found the one. And texting your ex would be so much easier than meeting someone new, right? Wrong. You two broke up for a reason, and you’re inviting that drama back into your life with a booty call. Because it’s pretty much impossible to reduce an ex to a friend with benefits. All that emotional crap will come right back up to the surface. Besides, you’ll be admitting defeat if you go running back! Have some pride in yourself, man.

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2. A Headcase
Every dorm floor has that one person who’s just way too intense. We’re not talking “adorably quirky”; we’re talking legitimately nuts, the kind of person who turns minor disputes into hostile showdowns with intergalactic ramifications. But desperation can make you overlook that rageaholic tendency. It may be fun for the night, but your future hookups will be ruined when this person is shouting death threats at you from the hallway.

3. A Virgin
Everyone deserves a special first time. If you’re just looking for a meaningless lay and discover you’d be her first, then lay off or else you’ll risk breaking someone’s heart. No one wants to lose their virginity on a rebound.

4. A Druggie
Although somebody who parties hard seems like they’d be a great time underneath the sheets, you really don’t want to get involved with this scene. Offering you an after-sex cigarette is one thing; offering you a hit off the meth pipe is quite another.

5. Someone’s Wife
C’mon, dude, that’s just f*cked up. And if you’re caught, you could wind up in the hospital with an injury that makes your dry spell permanent